Yes, it is more than a little awkward to turn a friendly acquaintance into a regular texting buddy. Texting is more like phone conversation than we’re comfortable admitting. And it is definitely possible to turn a platonic friendship into something more romantic after a long-term texting relationship.
The question then is, “What do I say that won’t turn things awkward, weird or make it seem like I’m desperate for his attention?”
Well for starters don’t drunk text! That’s for sure. Maybe we’ve all been there occasionally. Lesson learned: don’t be impulsive. Be strategic.
Instead, follow these five easy texting secrets that men are naturally drawn to. They are, by their nature, more attracted when you use these texting techniques...
1. Resist the urge to say “Entertain me.”
Frankly, this is what all men are used to. Women want free entertainment and so they say something like, “Hey what are you up to?” That works…if the guy is already nuts about you. But if he’s not sure how he feels, he will see it as an obvious signal. Or at the very best, he’ll just think you’re dull.
Instead, put more value into your text message. Send a joke, send a cartoon, or something that “reminds me of you.” The more laughs you give him, the more he’ll look forward to getting texts from you.
2. When it’s time to get real, talk about important things—not chitchat.
There’ll be plenty of time for boring chitchat on your 50th wedding anniversary. During this crucial time, it’s important that you get to know each other and get to the most interesting personality traits first. One easy way to get to know him is to talk about what he’s passionate about. If it’s his job, ask specific questions about it. If it’s a non-profit activity or a hobby, get him to open up about it and share his knowledge. Talk about things that you’re passionate about and see if he can follow you or relate (and if not, change the subject and find something he responds to).
You’re probably thinking that really deep conversations should be over the phone, not text, right? But talking about deep things via texting will actually motivate a man to want to speak more in person and on the phone. He may actually spend several minutes carefully typing out a response—which only proves to him that there’s something about you he likes, if he’s willing to go through the trouble of typing a long text message!
3. When it’s time to meet in person or arrange for a phone call, don’t directly ask him out or ask him to set a date. Instead, offer an opportunity that he can jump on.
The easy way to avoid being rejected (and to avoid making a man think you’re asking him out) is to simply share information about what you want to do, where you’re already going, and where to find you. Share this information as if you’re just talking about your upcoming day. You could even say something like “You should come along,” something like his buddy might say.
This gives him the opportunity to join you on an informal adventure—a non-date. It minimizes the pressure of a date and no one is at risk of being turned down. All you’re stating is that you like to have fun – great show of confidence. You’re a fun woman and he likes to have fun.
4. Don’t over-reward him with replies or smiley faces. Once you start a conversation, he should work to keep it going.
If you put forth effort to start a conversation (with a joke or cartoon or deep conversation or whatever) then he should follow it up with an intelligent response. If he replies haphazardly, “LOL yeah right, IKR?” or something meaningless like that, he gets no response.
I know, your first instinct may be to say something back, rewarding him for responding to you. Wrong approach. You’re over-rewarding him and now you’re saying that you like him way more than he likes you. Same rule applies if you’re over-rewarding him with “smiley faces.” Your replies, and your “smileys” should only come when he earns it. Think of these big reactions as a big belly laugh. You wouldn’t laugh hard at every single then he says, would you?
Sometimes the best response from you is no response—especially if he puts no thought into his text. You reward him with equal energy as he invests in you. Remember, it’s okay to start a conversation via text, but it’s not OK to keep the conversation going all by yourself. He must understand that HE is interested in this discussion. If you keep the text back and forth going, and it becomes one-sided, you’re only reminding him that YOU’RE interested. Not the other way around.
5. Be yourself…because that’s exactly what he’s going to want in person.
While it’s tempting to think of texting as the “seduction phase” so that you can lure him into an in-person meeting, the truth is that your text conversations should match the in-person dialog later on and indeed, complement it. Otherwise, a strange phenomenon starts to happen. You become the person he wants in texting, but then when you meet in person you show up as someone completely different. It’s almost like you have two personas—one instantly charming, and the other shy and unfamiliar.
Yes, it does feel good to say bold and funny things via text that you would never say in person. But once he senses the different “personas” (online you and in-person you) the attraction is compromised. This is why the old advice of “be yourself” is still wise. Whatever you wouldn’t say in person, don’t say in texting. And what you’re likely to talk about in person (as well as your unique sense of humor) is what you want to show during texting, so that he can sample it and crave more of “that” when you talk in person. Whether you come across as nerdy, flirty, hilarious or intelligent, wear these defining traits of yourself proudly. Whet his appetite through text so that he can’t hardly get enough of you when you go on a date.
Lastly, remember that although women do often take the lead in making initial contact, the man must ALWAYS feel as if he’s doing the chasing. Reward him with a little when he starts to talk to you more often. Reward him with BIGGER reactions when he tries a little harder. You’re his audience and he wants to feel as if he’s captivating your mind with his wit. Lastly, send him over the edge by sending a picture of a smile—letting him know that the more he wants to talk, the more you’re excited to listen.
You might hate this TEXT but it leaves men obsessed
This will cause every man to chase you like nothing you ever saw before...
It just a top secret TEXT MESSAGE and you just have to casually use it 3 times on any man of your choosing.
On the first attempt feelings of IMPULSIVE LOVE for you will fill up his body and flood his brain faster than he can comprehend.
On the second attempt, very strong feelings of ATTRACTION will engulf his entire being…
And on the third attempt, he'll be pushed over the edge with so much OBSESSION that he'll ignore every other woman and will be dying to make you his for life.
Here is the best part...
Use it exactly as described on the next page and his old lustful thoughts and cravings for other women will DIE IMMEDIATELY.
Talk soon,
Ryan
P.S. Here is the best part...
Use it exactly as described on the next page and his old lustful thoughts and cravings for other women will DIE IMMEDIATELY.