When it comes to dirty texts and sexting, is it safe to assume that the guy makes the first move? Well…I don’t know. How many times have you enjoyed it when a guy, in very poorly constructed sentence, asked you for nudes? Or when he asked an inappropriate question about sex as soon as he met you?
Not very often I assume! So no cool guy out there wants to be like these internet creeps! No, cool guys want to be charming, flirty and attractive. And that means they’re obviously fighting the urge to just say whatever profane things comes to mind. They’re trying to be a fun date and not just be a weirdo who trolls women for attention.
Now the line between creepy horny guy and cool bad boy is sometimes blurred…some guys are so afraid of coming across as a creep that they avoid the topic of sex altogether. And that doesn’t really help because it only helps to further create a platonic relationship with no sexual tension.
So what I suggest is that if a guy doesn’t know how to be sexual AND respectful on a date, you might try helping him out a bit. Throw him a hint that says it’s okay to be sexy, romantic, bawdy and yes, maybe even a little dirty!
The question is how do you dirty text a guy? Is there a right or wrong way? Wouldn’t a guy be intimidated if you suddenly let loose and start doing Redd Foxx record? Not to worry…here are some tips on how to dirty-text a guy in a way that seems natural and doesn’t seem to too over-the-top.
1. Always wait until sex is imminent.
Don’t give a guy mixed messages by texting dirty, or even hinting at dirty things, if you’re not sure you want to sleep with him. Men are logical creatures to a fault. If you start teasing a guy and frankly texting about sex (specifically how you like it, and what you would do to him) he’s going to assume this means you want the same thing in bed. And that’s going to make for an awkward conversation if you decide that you don’t want sex after all.
You may be able to get away with making bawdy jokes, asking about sexual experiences, and other sex-related topics…but once you start texting your lust for each other and escalating the tension, it’s time to get serious.
2. Start off with just a hint.
Whether it’s repeating a dirty joke you heard or discussing things you find sexy, sending a guy the “signal” is the first step. This is your way of letting him know that it’s okay to be dirty and it’s okay to stop being so polite. Most men WILL wait for this go ahead, unless of course they’re experienced “players” who are leading you. Otherwise, most men wait to make sure you’re comfortable with taking things to the next level.
3. Always start slow and “soft”, gradually getting worse.
Don’t go for shock value. What you want to do is start slow and build things up, after you bond together. Go for INTIMACY first. Rather than start dirty texting him as soon as gets excited, it’s a far better idea to slowly tease him and let the filth come out slowly over the course of the evening. Yes, this means you should plan a good time to dirty text, making sure he’s not going to be busy, tired or too distracted from something else. Start with a hint…something subtle and yet very bold. Make sure he understands what you’re referring to—sex and fantasies!—even if you’re being coy about it.
4. Share the responsibility with him.
A good X-rated conversation thrives on two active participants. Neither of you should be carrying the whole load. Don’t “perform” for him. But don’t wait for him to take you by the hand and walk you through it. Instead, allow him the option to lead. Ask a sexy question and draw him out in conversation. The more excited he gets, the more you should CHALLENGE him.
Test him to see how bad he really wants you and then when he delivers another sexy text, reward him with your own dirty reply. Taking turns like this is the best way to ensure he knows that you’re just as dirty as him. Men are more attracted to women who “think dirty” rather than just accept that it’s something men do!
5. Start by appealing to his imagination.
Using vague sentences in the beginning goes a long way because it encourages more explicit conversation from the both of you. Start by telling him you’re thinking about him—maybe in bed, or thinking about the first you kissed. Talk about the “idea” first—namely that you both want to jump each other’s bones—and then expand on the idea with specific sentences.
6. Make physical compliments.
Now is the time to be kinkily honest and describe to your partner just how attracted you are to him and why. It’s good to be detailed. Don’t just tell him you’re fantasizing about him…tell him what parts of his body turn you on.
7. Give him a specific scene.
Describe to him where you want his body and where you want yours. A sexy shower scene? In between your legs? Having sex in a public place? Be specific not only about the four-letter words and body parts, but about the scene happening around you.
8. Give him hot visuals and prompts to play along.
Whether or not you actually touch yourselves while dirty texting is up to you (it is kind of hard to do with one hand) but you should include plenty of strong visuals AND prompts to play along. Tell your man what you’re doing…that you’re touching yourself and thinking about him. Tell him how wet you are and then ask him how hard he is. These are the “play along” prompts that get him feeling what you’re feeling. Whether or not you actually touch isn’t important. But giving him the illusion that it’s happening is what makes dirty texting hot!
While these tips will help you get started in dirty texting, we still have a lot to consider. In a future article, we’ll discuss more tips on what to say with some examples to try.
The Good Girl’s Guide To Talking Dirty
If you want your man to have eyes for you and only you…
Fantasizing about you when you’re not around…
Counting down every minute until he gets to see you again…
You don’t have to kill yourself at the gym.
You don’t have to buy a bunch of sexy lingerie (though there’s nothing wrong with that, if that’s what you want.)
Nope, if you want your guy to become sexually and emotionally addicted to you, all you need to do is make love to his mind… learn to talk dirty to him.
I’ve said this over and over again, but a man’s number one erogenous zone isn’t in his pants, it’s in his head…
Guys live in a state of perpetual sexual fantasy (it’s true, we do).
And we all dream of meeting a woman who really understands our sexual buttons and knows how to push them in a really powerful way.
So here’s what you should do right now:
Drop whatever you’re doing and go watch his amazing video by my friend Felicity Keith. . .
Felicity looks like your normal, average early 42 year old soccer mom…
But as you’ll learn in the video (when you hear her CRAZY story) she discovered the “secret code” to unlock the sexual part of a man’s mind…
In fact, Felicity says she can teach you how to get a man sexually OBSESSED and ADDICTED to you without even touching him…
If you’re nervous or feel self conscious talking dirty. . .
Or if you feel kind of dumb because you just don’t know what to say, you really need to check out Felicity’s stuff, it can help you…
Click here to learn the secrets to dirty talk
You won’t believe what it feels like once you learn what Felicity has to teach you and feel that amazing CONFIDENCE that comes from knowing EXACTLY what to say to a man…
Just whisper these words and he’ll slay a dragon, crawl across broken glass and do ANYTHING to be with you (and only you) forever…