7 Things You Should Tell Your Man Every Day

 

Many women buy into the philosophy that you shouldn’t spoil your man…the more you thank him and ask him nicely, the more he’ll resent you. But if you put him to work and keep playing hard to get that this will endear him to you.

As usual, the truth is a little more complicated than that. Yes, it’s true that if you’re a pushover, many men will eventually start to take advantage of you. Some may even lose respect for you if they sense you’re needy or dependent on them.

However, treating a man like a mean boss or hired help (you know, the pool boy, wink wink) is not the right way to go either.

Men do want assurances and they do want love. But they want it expressed in a very particular way, one that rewards their personal effort more than just “being nice.” Here are seven nice things you should tell your man every day if you want to keep him faithful and happy in the relationship.

1. “Thank you for…, or, I appreciate you…, doing that thing.”

Expressing thanks and appreciation IS a big deal because a man will silently stew and eventually boil over in rage if he works hard for no gratitude. However, rather than thank him for everything he does, express sincere appreciation for when he does something specific for you. Whether it’s a tiny little gift, or doing you a big favor, or buying something that the family really needed, all of these things deserve your attention and your appreciation. Men are born to please women and they do need that assurance, even for the little things they do in just one day.

2. “What’s been on your mind?”

This is a variation of “how was your day?” which is a bit over-used, to the point where a man just auto-respond, “Good, Good Day.” This question is open-ended, which challenges him to share what happened today, or even better, what he’s been thinking about all day. Oftentimes men will have “average days” where nothing memorable happens. However, he may have had an exciting new thought and that’s what you’re interested in hearing.

3. “I’m not sure…what do you think?”

An independent woman doesn’t need a man’s approval or his solution. That’s why it’s always a breath of fresh air, when a woman wants a man’s opinion, or expertise, on a certain matter. By asking him his opinion, you let him know that you value his wisdom and that you take his views into account. You may or may not use his ideas, but asking him for his opinion allows him to talk openly and share his feelings. Getting your man to talk, at least one long conversation every day is always a win.

4. “I miss you.”

Whoah, hold on. Isn’t this statement a bit needy? Nah, not really. You’re not actually saying that your life is falling apart. Rather, you’re just letting him know that you really do appreciate his company and things are always happier when you’re together. This is a great thing to say over the phone or via text message. It lets him know you’re thinking about him and that you crave intimate conversation. Something that will inspire him to share when you are united later on.

5. “I love THIS about you.”

“I love you” is a given. The problem is that it’s so overused it’s almost an obligatory response as someone leaves the room. Why not be much more specific and actually tell your man what you love about him? The more subtle you are, the better. Focus on what he does for you, or even just what quirks he has going day by day. Do you notice something sexy that he does while getting dressed? Or do you notice something sweet he does for you before he leaves the house? It’s okay to tell him you love these little things about him. It reminds him of just how close the two of you are. If you can’t think of anything specific, compliment his intelligence, his sense of humor, and other qualities that he has that are not so obvious.

6. “That hurt my feelings.” Or, “I’m sorry I said that.”

You’re bound to rub each other the wrong way sometimes but the worst thing you can do is to just let it slide…repeatedly…and not actually bring about any positive change. It’s okay to let him know if and when he hurts your feelings. This brings about a sincere apology…and just as important, he learns what hurts you and avoids saying anything too similar. At the same time, apologizing if you hurt his feelings lets him know that you’re trying to make this relationship work and learning what his boundaries are so that he never feels disrespected.

7. “I want this…not that. Please do this!”

Believe it or not, telling a man exactly what you want is not a sin. It’s not mentioned in the ten commandments and it’s not against the golden rule. Actually, telling a man exactly what you want is a much-appreciated gesture since…(you guessed it!) a man usually doesn’t know what you’re thinking or what you want him to do.

So while it might seem to you that you’re dropping a pretty big hint, most of the time the guy is just not picking up on it. It may be frustrating to spell out every detail but sometimes honesty and explicit instructions really do work best. This refers not only to sex, but in running errands, in emotional cues, in financial management, and in day to day living. If something bothers you, don’t let it fester. Talk about it openly and ask (nicely!) your man to start taking care of this problem. It’s so much more efficient to tell him what you want rather than hoping he figures it out.

Tell him these things often, even every day, and your relationship will improve. Communication is what makes relationships last a lifetime!

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Talk soon,
Stoyan

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