8 Phone Sex Secrets – Blow His Mind with These
It’s kind of a shame more people don’t have phone sex before jumping into bed. Don’t get me wrong…real sex is great, nothing compares to it.
But if you’re talking about foreplay and kink, I don’t think there’s anything hotter than sexting and phone sex. And if you spend just a few weeks or even months buttering him up with dirty talk and sexual dialog, your first encounter together is going to be red hot!
The reason being, phone sex and sexting are all about building suspense for a real life sexual encounter. Now elsewhere on this site I’ve talked about sexting and how it works best when you keep sentences short, simple and daring.
But now I want to talk about phone sex and explain why it works and why it’s so hot as a prelude to real sex. Phone sex really gives you the best of both worlds. You not only get to tease your partner with erotic idea like in sexting, but you also get to experience an “orgasm lite” when you touch yourselves at the same time.
Unlike sexting, (which tends to take a while because of long replies and limited daily time—since even the hottest of lovers have to do office work for a living!) phone sex is in “real time.” You can hear each other’s voice and engage in dirty talking, sensual talking, romance or filth, and whatever else you both find interesting.
It’s an experimental form of sex and a highly personal challenge for both partners. You really put your own personality into each sex chat.
Of course, if you’ve never even tried dirty-talking before, you may be intimidated by the idea. You may even have a bit of “performance anxiety” if your boyfriend has implied he wants to try it and you’re nervous about the first time.
No problem…here are eight phone sex secrets to remember that will help you stay focused even when the pressure is on!
1. Always start slow. Focus on the “foreplay” of phone sex by sticking to clothing, scene and feelings.
Ask him what he’s wearing or tell him what you’re wearing. Slow things down rather than jumping into dirty talk. Pace things a bit more naturally. Besides, you can’t really start describing sexual activity until you “virtually” take his clothes off. So have fun with some of the easy flirting in those first few moments of conversation. Remember, the goal is to have a casual conversation that slowly becomes erotic.
2. Let him work for it, by getting him excited at the possibilities.
Rather than jump into dirty talking, spend some time getting him to open up. Ask him about how he feels about you. Keep him talking and respond positively to when he describes his intense feelings for you. Then, offer him the chance to lead the conversation by asking him something like, “What would you do to me if I was there right now?” Letting him work for you will turn him on and you’ll also feel the heat as he describes the perfect encounter.
3. Master the “sigh” and “hum”.
Long before you start orgasming, you should build to that crescendo using little sighs, moans and hums that encourage him to try harder. Don’t pant randomly…use them as little rewards for each new dialog he works up. Make sure your tone of voice is slightly higher and paced slower than usual. He wants to hear your sexy voice just as much as he wants you to speak.
4. Touch yourself as you start to get excited.
It definitely helps if you touch yourself in “real time” in order to feel the same sensations that he’s describing. It will get you excited and your sexy voice will also turn him on, encouraging him to talk “harder” and build to a peak.
5. Allude to body parts, before you start talking dirty.
Tease him a bit by alluding to his penis, your breasts, your vagina and so on. Rather than use a four-letter word too soon, start subtle…use a euphemism like “hard-on” or even an indirect reference like “that bulge in your pants” as a way to tease him onto more hardcore talk. You can also take your time describing feelings or visuals, such as the act of pulling his pants down and reaching into his shorts. Don’t forget to describe your reaction and his reaction too—such as, “I’m starting to breath harder…” or “Biting my lip I’m so turned on…”
6. When it’s time to start swearing, pepper your conversation with F, C and P words.
Rather than just dumping it all in there like a Tarantino movie, learn to use “F-bombs” in a few of your sentences so that they stick out more and feel more vivid. I suggest using F-words as verbs or nouns, rather than expletives. You can also use graphic words like “cock” or “pussy” but don’t overuse them, especially in the same sentence. If you can use the word once every three or four sentences that’s even better! Make it a little game to see how many references you can think up that sound erotic even though they don’t mention genitals. (“Put it in my mouth!” or “I ride you hard, grabbing your chest!”)
7. Watch a silent porn or borrow lines from a book.
If you’re still feeling shy or out of ideas, don’t be afraid to plagiarize another person’s kink. Hey, it’s not like you’re committing a copyright violation…you’re just having phone sex! Load a porn video and use the visuals to describe what you see so you can make the fantasy more vivid. Another idea would be to borrow passages from a short erotic story or a novel and pretend as if you’re speaking them instead of reading. (He probably won’t notice or even care!)
8. Experiment with more daring fantasies and role plays.
Lastly, remember that there are no rules for phone sex. Even some taboo fantasies you could never do in real life could be done via telephone or video calling. You could describe a hot one night stand, a BDSM dungeon role play, threesome or a personal taboo fantasy you have (or he has).
Remember that phone sex is supposed to be flexible, highly individual and playful. Don’t be afraid of making a few mistakes here and there. If you flub a line of dialog, it’s not a big deal. Laugh it off and move forward quickly. Let your boyfriend know that you enjoy it as much as he does. You’re both free to explore your erotic boundaries and discover the most shocking sexual thoughts that you’ve ever had.
It’s kinky, sure…but most of all, it’s a form of deep bonding and intimacy that will create a powerful emotional connection! Don’t be afraid, make that call tonight!
